I have given a short summary of how my Crohns effects my life, but now it is time to get a little clinical in here. My medication list so far is small compared to others, but give me time and inflammation I'll catch up quick. Right out of the gate I was diagnosed with moderate to severe Crohns. They put me on the steroids that shall not be named and humira. Here is an interesting fact I have a needle phobia. My mother or husband injects me because there is no way I could do it. I don't feel the needle. I feel the horrible pain when the medication starts to go into my leg like sand paper with glass all over it. That my friends is for another day, or ever two weeks to be exact. I stop taking my humira after three months. I vowed to never take steroid again. They only help when I was on them and I ate everything in sight so when I stop taking them all that food came back to bite be in the lower intestine. My husband also was very scared of me because of the extreme anger in all. I then tried a more natural some may say holistic approach. Which helped my constipation I've had since I was born and just made me feel better. Except my Crohns symptoms. I think if my Crohns was a little milder it would have work but my immune system is a little to sadistic for the soft and cuddly approach. I went back to my GI doctor and he started me back on humira. Also lower dose of the steroids that shall not be named. Which ruin my 8 month run of being completely gluten free. I know gluten free is very taboo but it did help me feel better. Also my flare up weren't as severe. I have been on humira almost a year now and I think I could be close to remission if my mouth would stop eating things. I am a self diagnosed food addict. I am thinking about going to a nutritionist to get that into check to help the whole malnutrition thing. They say humira though is something you will take forever or until it stops working. It is hard to image me doing this for the rest of my life. I got so overwhelmed by it all the other day I missed a dose because I kept having panic attacks trying to get my shot. I knew I had to take the next one so I called my GI nurse and she said she would give it to me. I went in there and she just gave me the shot. I was hyping it up in my head so much I couldn't take it. The one I just took wasn't as bad, my mom said ready I said no and she pushed the button. The only other medication I am on is hydros for painful flare ups and nausea meds for severe flare ups. I try not to take them unless I really have to because I am scared I am going to get addicted to them, and just be another statistic of chronic pain patient abusing pain meds. I felt like that the last time I went to the emergency room for a really bad flare up. A note is I have only been to the ER three times, when I was first diagnosed got my pain shot, second was another severe attack and couldn't get ahold of GI doctor so I went in got my pain shot, and third was another severe attack but this doctor didn't treat Crohn with pain meds. He would only give me a shot of steroids. I was throwing up every 5 minutes and balling my eyes out in pain. My mother was with me and asked if he could give me anything for the pain we didn't care what it was. He said that is not how he treated Crohns. I told him I am not here for you to treat my Crohns I am here for you to take this pain away. I have been in pain for almost 9 hours now. He did give me a nausea pill so I could stop throwing up so I could take my hydros. Which he gave me another prescription for even though I told him I already had one, but I couldn't get one pain shot. Whatever I am not a doctor I guess. Ok rant over. I know now how easy it would be just to take pain meds all the time. Once again that sweet relief we are all chasing washes over me like a cool breeze. All that pain gone. I catch myself enjoying it way to much. Why should that make me feel guilty? I am tried of being in pain, so when I am not I enjoy it to the fullest. I still only take them when I absolutely have to. I think on that note I will end it there.
Until next time I hope none of you have a reason to take the "good stuff",
Cassie Walker
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